I don't like getting messy. I have never liked getting messy. As a child, I refused to get involved in hand painting or finger painting. I didn't like gardening because I always got mud on my hands, feet, face and clothes. I was always a tidy eater as I disliked the feeling of food running down my chin; or a messy face. I hate the smell of dishcloths as they take me back to the time when my father would prize one onto my face to remove dirt. It's just the way I am.
However, as a leader on a recent youth group retreat, I found myself getting messy; really really messy.
When my boss proposed the idea of a 'food fight' as part of the programme for our weekend away, I sincerely thought he was joking. However, when he rocked up at our retreat venue with some large bags of flour, cheap baked beans, shaving foam, tomato ketchup and porridge oats.... it became apparent that he wasn't.
I love my young people, and I love serving them; thus when I found myself rugby tackled to the floor swallowing shaving foam and covered in beans at eleven o'clock on a Saturday Morning, I held onto my integrity knowing that somehow, my 'mess' was impacting the lives of those young people.
Recently, I have been thinking alot about relationships. My job is largely relational: I spend most of my time with people, serving people and being in relationship with people. It's why I love my job, but it's also why my job is hard. Relationships are both celebrated and admired, as well as scrutinised and dissected. Those in relationships find themselves the innocent victims of judgement from those on the periphery. At their core, relationships are messy.
My mother is many things, and recently this includes becoming a couple and relationship counsellor for 'Relate'. My mother is also infinitely wise, and a metaphor that she used recently struck a cord with me. She compared relationships to a 'kitchen sink'. Over time the plughole gets blocked with all the rubbish you try to wash down it. There are quick remedial solutions (I guess Cillit Bang has to sell somehow...) but these have only temporary effects. To truly get to the root of the problem you have to go into the drainage system, get on on your hands and knees and get messy. It's hard, smelly and unpleasant work but as a result your sink works perfectly again.......until the next time; and there will be a next time. If you can't clear the problem, its probably time to buy a new plumbing system and start afresh.
To look at someone who 'does' relationships well, the ultimate example is Jesus Christ. His relationships on earth were also celebrated and admired, scrutinized and dissected; and the judgement of those on the periphery left Him an innocent victim. He died to at the hands of the ones he came to save: bloodied, beaten, bruised and nailed to a cross. It was probably quite messy.
Yet his death removed our mess, allowed our relationships to be repaired, and allowed us to start afresh. Jesus did the hard, smelly and unpleasant work for us.
We will all have countless relationships in our lifetime: whether failed or successful, short-lived or convenient, loving or unloving. Hearts will break, friendships will fail, people will get hurt. At the end of the day, we are all trying to make our ways in a very messy, 'baked bean and shaving foam' filled world. No-one likes mess, so it is important to keep a hold of our integrity for the sake of preserving each other - sacrifice the OCD we have for perfection in order to impact the relationships of those around us in a positive way.
God is a relational God and he sent his son Jesus, in all His purity and perfection to allow us to know him more. He hates mess too, but He's willing to get messy himself in order to impact our lives. What makes God truly awesome is: That's just the way He is.
